Valero Gasoline Spares Ducky

I need to talk about the Valero gasoline corporation and their latest commercial in which they share the heart warming story of how they saved Ducky the dog, on the day he was set to be euthanized.

Sad Ducky, “on the day he was set to be euthanized”… perhaps just moments before Valero Gasoline arrived with the film crew.

I have to say, I completely approve this commercial, and not because it’s not shameless… it is. It’s a gas corporation marketing team deciding to go with the angle of “We save dogs.” But I like the angle. How many gas companies do we have to hear say they’ve got scientists working around the clock to solve the climate crisis, researching clean energy and green energy. With the amount of times Amazon has promised to achieve zero carbon emissions by 2040, they better send us $100 gift cards if they don’t.

But Valero went the other way with their ad budget. Instead of saying, “We’re saving the world” they said, “We’re saving one dog.”

Really? Which dog?

“DUCKY.”
I’m listening.

“The marketing team here at Valero focus-grouped various animal-rescue iterations, including Mittens the Kitten, Hermione the The Rockefeller Christmas Tree Tiny Owl, Bongo the retired lab Chimpanzee, and Shadow the albino Black Stallion. Ducky tested #1 in a landslide in the category of “customers who no longer feel despondent when looking at a photograph of a Valero gas station”, with a surprising runner up finish from dark horse, black horse (white horse) Shadow the albino black stallion.

Valero Gasoline: We Save Dogs

Every time I drive past a Valero I will now think fondly of Ducky, and I’ll pull off to refuel with the distinct impression I am somehow helping dogs.

I am ever so slightly skeptical Ducky was truly on death’s door when Valero stepped in. 

1) Ducky is a perfectly sweet looking adorable dog.
2) We are in a Pandemic in which rescue dogs are selling like Bitcoin.
3) Ducky is in the 50 lb or less weight class which is the most popular and adoptable dog size — small enough for your apartment, and big enough to spoon. Small enough to to claim as an airplane therapy carry-on, but also big enough to drag a dead duck back to you.

That being said, I have no reason not to trust Valero Gas corporation. But I do think they should have to do a disclaimer of any dog losses that came at their expense. *Queue commercial disclaimer voice*

Valero jet fuel was also used in four U.S. combat drones which mistakenly bombed civilians in the small village of Krapak. The explosion ignited a nearby Valero crude oil refinery, which set fire to a neighboring small village, and also the neighboring small village of that neighboring small village. So… three villages. Unfortunately, hundreds of dogs were harmed in the drone strikes. Fortunately, only two of them were also named Ducky.

The firetrucks that arrived 12 hours later were fueled by Valero.

Valero Gasoline: assisting fire departments and saving dogs around the globe.

Well I say thank you Valero. Thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for powering the fire trucks that put out the Valero gasoline explosion fires, and thank you for saving Ducky.

Ducky in his happy new home. After Valero Gasoline saved his life.